Cough
by Wormy40
Summary: Its hard being a Doctor when your model gorgous.
1. Chapter 1

_**I have decided to try my hand at humor by going directly in the mind of Carlisle Cullen!!! Carlisle might be a little OC but I hope I do an okay job of going into his mind.**_

_**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight series I just enjoy writing about it.**_

**Carlisle POV**

Margaret ran towards me her hair swaying from side to side. I was just about to go on my lunch break but I could tell this was urgent. She came wheezing toward me, I always told her that it was in her best interest to exercise daily. But whenever I told her that she would always laugh and respond, I am already married, I have caught my fish there is no use of getting better bait.

"We've got another one, Carlisle." Her serious tone implied that this was anything but serious.

Why me, those women could never seem to grasp the concept that I was indeed happily married. Always saying they had a fever or they didn't feel just right. And then after I gave them something totally useless they would come back to the office to "thank" me.

"Is this one actually sick?"

"Oh she's sick alright I didn't think they made mini skirts as short as hers, she must have made it especially for you." I quivered at the thought; I had thought the last mini skirt was bad.

"Doctor, If I keep working here I think I am going to be mentally scarred for life. I have seen more thongs and lingerie in this Hospital than Fredrick's of Hollywood and Victories secret can make. …. "Oh and something else I heard this patient blabbering on in the waiting room that her thong was Strawberry flavored." She winked at me scarcely containing her laughter at my shivers of disgust. She rolled her eyes, "Have fun Doctor, I'm sure you're the reason she's feeling hot." At her last joke she snorted loudly and then collapsed on the floor.

"Thank you so much Margaret I am glad I have you to help me out." I spit out with disgust. I usually wasn't this harsh but this was the Third case in two days. I never knew women could be so persistent and I have been around for a long time.

She rolled over on the floor again successfully moping it. "Well she smells like she's dieing because of –gasp- all her perfume –gasp- so she probably really is sick from all the fumes. Even I was starting to get –gasp- dizzy and I was at my desk." Her last little joke caused her such pain she could hardly breathe from laughter. Margaret knew how much I hated when women put on too much perfume. It was bad enough with regular senses but increase it tenfold and it is like the smell of sulfur.

I left Margaret on the floor and walked slowly to the waiting room. You can only delay the inevitable for so long and I didn't feel like waiting today, it was better just to get it over with. Perhaps today I could have a little fun with the patient myself and cause them just as much humiliation as they have caused me.

As soon as I turned the corner I could smell it, a pungent scent that since last time had always caused me bad memories. I remembered when Rosalie and Emmett had been a little daring with their relationship and tried to take theses pills to "Heat up" their sex lives because of a commercial they saw on TV. And then since they had vampire metabolism it worked twice as fast and we all had to evacuate the living room. Esme wasn't happy two tables had been broken that day.

Breaking out of my reprieve of unpleasant memories I looked down at my clipboard.

"Mrs. Stanley, I will see you now." I called as my eyes thoroughly searched the room. The secretary hadn't been lying. In a plunging black top and a mini skirt so tiny it was barely visible. She swung her hips toward me the smell of her overwhelming and disgusting. Little was left to the imagination of what she wanted from me. Her lacy black bra was visible and she had so much makeup on she really did look diseased. But what really stood out was her huge hair pulled up into what she thought was a sexy up do, but more looked like a bird had made a nest on the top of her head.

Something told me it was going to be a LONG day.

_**Please R&R if you liked it there will be more chapters to come. Sorry if you are reading my other story this came to me in a dream and as we all know from Stephenie Meyer dreams are meant to be written down.**_

_**Love Always**_

_**Wormy40**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am glad you guys liked the first chapter so much!!! I think I definitely like writing this story better than my other one. So if you're reading Stranger on a Plane it will probably be a while till I update. Enjoy this chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: Le sob I own nothing. But that can change very quickly – Evil laughter-**_

**Carlisle POV**

_Something told me it was going to be a LONG day._

Mrs. Stanley hurriedly rushed forward at my voice her hips thrusting to some invisible tempo. She reminded me of a hungry bird and regrettably I was pretty sure I was the worm. The question was should the worm fight back today or just be pecked at without a fuss. The putrid smell of Mrs. Stanley crept closer; I knew she was almost on me. I spun around right before her hand tried to rest on my shoulder. I decided today the worm was going to fight back. Screw being professional I could only take so much. Leading the way to my office I noticed Mrs. Stanley's face color I dark shade of crimson her hips still wiggling embarrassingly. What she was thinking I was sure I didn't want to know. I passed one of the more cheeky doctors and heard him woof whistle. If I was human I was sure I would have been bright red, some people just had no respect.

Trying to fill the air with some conversation I turned to Mrs. Stanley. "So how have you been feeling lately?"

I noticed she blushed even more she must have interpreted my words a different way then intended.

In a husky voice she tried to be sultry "Well I have had a bit of a cough lately and Mrs. Motley said you did **Amazing** work!" she added a fake little cough on the end as if to prove her point.

It was amazing how gossip spread in this town. I had just seen Mrs. Motley yesterday and she seemed fairly normal. No revealing clothes or forward attempts but I did notice she enjoyed it a little too much when I had to touch her for the breathing exercises. Apparently she was one of those people that thought of ideas but never did them and then infected someone else with them who were brave enough to fulfill out her thoughts. Like a parasite she had filled Mrs. Stanley's head with ideas. I fumbled with the keys to my office and entered the room. I took my chair by the computer and Mrs. Stanly climbed onto the paper bed. Lying on her side she faced me and sat up in a way that was obviously meant to look seductive.

"You know it's really cold in here do you have anything to warm me up?" Her tone of voice sounded like she was trying to be cute. But I knew exactly what she wanted to warm her up and I had no intention of giving it to her.

"Well it is winter maybe if you wore some more clothes you would be warmer. Also your voice does sound a lot deeper than normal you must have a lot of mucus in your throat." Hoping to discourage her from putting the plot that was brewing in her head for good measure I added "Before we start the exam are you on any medication right now."

This made her cheeks turn red. But calmly she stated just a little too innocent for my taste. "Nope, none at all." I knew she was lying but I couldn't get her to admit it. I continued onward with the medical questions.

"When was your last period?'

"Oh, I am on birth control" she winked at me after that. I was sure if I was human I would have thrown up by now.

"Are you sexually active?"

"No, I haven't been for a while, I'm saving myself." Another less discreet wink was thrown in my direction. I continued again. This was almost too much.

"And when did you notice your cough?"

"Just yesterday but I wanted to make sure –bogus cough- that it wasn't anything serious."

She wanted to make sure it wasn't anything serious sure she didn't. Maybe I could convince her it was.

"Wait can you cough again for me, I didn't like the sound of that last cough." She coughed again.

"Hmm interesting, very interesting." I added in to make her feel insecure by not telling her why I thought it was interesting, which happened to be because she was the worst actor I had seen so far. I pulled out my stethoscope.

"Hmm, let's listen to your breathing." I smoothly placed my hand on her back causing her breath to hitch at my touch and her heartbeat to fluctuate. "Okay now breath in and out for me very deeply." I made sure my voice was in her ear causing her to shiver with pleasure. She did as she was told but every time I would move to a new spot she would start hyperventilating. I was pretty sure I knew exactly what to do to stop my problem once and for all. This was actually going to be quite fun.

_**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I can't wait to write the next couple. Have you ever noticed that most words of sexy begin with an s it starting to bug me? Also I thought it was appropriate if Carlisle asked Doctoral questions because every time I go to the doctor they ask me when my last period was, if I am sexually active and if I am pregnant. I know why they ask theses questions but seriously I have always wanted to say no I am not sexually active and then when they ask me if I am pregnant I would be all well you see funny story actually I was abducted by aliens and they implanted me with their baby in me so yes I am pregnant. Sorry about the rant anyway the rest of the Cullen's might even have to join the story. I wanted to make Mrs. Stanley get the idea from Laurens mom but I forgot how to spell their last name. Please R&R it's my favorite part to get all the reviews. I like reading the stories you guys write too.**_

_**Love always**_

_**Wormy40**_


	3. AN PLEASE READ

_**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in so long but today is the first day of break so I just wanted to tell you I will be updating soon. Once again I am really sorry but I personally hate giving excuses so I won't tell you why I haven't updated for it is a tragic love hate sort of relationship in itself and it would be quite long if I told it. Anyway I was wondering if you guys had any ideas about the next chapter for I really need a little kick starter and I know some of you guys ARE TOTAL GENUISES!!! So if you could please help me out I am sure I could get the chapter up even sooner, but I need YOUR IDEAS, for I am not really that creative!!!**_


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